funny jokes for you Jesus said, "My faith can move mountains"

The_Legend18 8 year.agoJesus said, "My faith can move mountains"

So Mohammed said, "my faith can move skyscrapers"

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Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

1. How does a rock pee?

He Dwayne's his Johnson.

2. Have you heard about the constipated mathematician

He worked it out with a pencil

3. What was the philosopher Beluga's greatest question?

Do I have free whale?

4. What did the two day old baby say to the one day old baby?

I was not born yesterday!

5. My dad told my mom that for Easter breakfast, we should only have frozen prepackaged waffles because thats what he wanted. I said…

Thats pretty Eggotistical of you

6. What did the dog say when it ate too much?

"Barf Barf!"

7. The flamingo won the race!

You could say he had a leg up.

8. Why are many lesbians still attracted to Dwayne Johnson

Because Rock beats scissors.

9. What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing. He was gladiator.

10. Did you know you can get pasta shaped like grains of rice?

Orzo I’ve been told…

11. What is needed to play the rap version of many board games?

Just a Gangsters pair o' dice

12. How do you tell the sex of an ant?.

Drop it in a glass of water. If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, boyant.

13. What do you call a Mexican who lost his protein powder?

No whey Jose

14. I told my wife today that I have the same birthday as Adolf Hitler. She said, "It's crazy to think that such a disgusting loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people....

.... shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler."

15. What did the scarf say to the hat?

You go on a head, ill hang around right here

16. Last Easter, Jesus gave me a rose. Guess what he gave me this Easter?

Rose, again.

17. Whenever someone asks me to sing in a very high pitch, I fake it by lip synching.

It's my false-etto voice.

18. What do you call a scientist who studies Sea Cows?

A Moo-rine Biologist.

19. What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?

He hits a gnome run

20. What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

Carlos!

21. What do French hedgehogs see on Groundhog Day?

Their chateau.

22. You know the German government hired a bunch of gymnasts from Prague?

Yeah, they wanted a system of Czechs and Balances.

23. I told my students that if they can get a job working with and fixing water pumps...

They'll always live well.

24. How do chimp chefs keep themselves clean?

They put an apron

25. I applied to be the next pope

Fingers crossed!! Whoops, I mean crucified!

26. My wife told me that I should embrace my mistakes

I gave her a hug

27. Why do snakeskin clothes never last long?

It's because people always throw hissyfits

28. The electrical wiring on the ISS is really sketchy.

None of the circuits run to ground.

29. What does a clone say to acknowledge the receipt of a command?

Copy that.

30. My nagging wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem ..

Funeral director, "Sir, it would cost about £25,000 if we send her home back to the UK or £500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem." Me:"Ship her home." Funeral director: "But sir, why don't you bury her here in the Holy Land and you can save money." Me: "A long time ago a man was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead, I can't take that chance."

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